I walk into a building, people are everywhere
I feel the sweat trickling down my cheek
I hear my heart bea as if it was the beating of a drum
I see a child hug his mother's leg
It brings me to my childhood
I walk to the middle of the room
Time seems to stop
Boom!!!
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I liked the part when you say "time seems to stop" i bet thats how it is to the suicide bombers or maybe time is in slow motion
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty sweet, i liked how described the bomber in the building very visual
ReplyDeletecoolio. i think its really cool i like the part when you started describing the mother and the child and the ebding is good too
ReplyDeleteCameron, I really like the line "I feel the sweat trickling down my cheek." This gives a physical and sensory image to your poem. I also like your assonance in the last five lines... mother, childhood, room, to stop, boom. Some suggestions... proofread for things like "bea" -you left off the "t."
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