Men are like Gods; we're made to believe
Freedom and equality- we'll never achieve
Women are useless is what they say
Without any rights, we're forced to obey
The birth of a daughter is a dreaded event
Living as a man is a life well spent
A life without happiness that we can never flee
From the clutches of men, we'll never be free
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
First off I love the ryhme scheme. This poem is sad but true. You highlighted the unjust life that many middle eastern women are doomed to live and incorporated it into poetry beautifully. Nice Job!
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem! Your rhymes made it more interesting and smooth, but it didn't take away the seriousness or message. You did a great job of capturing the way Saudi women feel!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kendall's comment. The rhyming makes it more accessible and enjoyable to read but doesn't clash with the serious point you are trying to make. The rhyming is not the only thing that makes this poem flow. I like how each line can be split near the middle into two parts - this seems to give it nice continuity.
ReplyDeleteShould you be capitalizing "Gods" as a plural?
Joanie, this is just great. i like the contrast of men to gods and how you personalize it by using "we." the rhyme scheme also works perfectly and adds to the poem instead of causing a distraction away from the meaning.
ReplyDeleteYou received valuable comments - I agree that the rhyme adds to the poem and it has a balanced rhythm. "Gods" would not be capitalized in this case (not a proper noun when plural). The poem feels accurate but also depressing...I wanted to see hope at the end, but maybe that is not reality.
ReplyDelete