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These are posts from Juniors at Steamboat Springs High School

The poems were written during our unit on Imperialism in the Middle East - Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Nothing Cafe by Brooke Johnston

I step into the cafe, blue sky, white clouds
I sit into the torn, cushioned seat: shiny red
a beautiful woman asks me what I would like to drink: lemonade
This woman of beauty has a future, has a family, has dreams
A man walks in
his coat so puffy
He makes me nervous, a drop
of sweat drips down his face like
fresh morning dew on a tulip.
then the noise, like a train hitting a wall
the big flash of light frightens me
I want to run into my daddy's arms and
make this tragedy go away
I'm sorry for being bad daddy, I love you
crushing metal, cries, screams
nothing
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6 comments:

  1. cassady daleyDecember 16, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    I liked how you described everything at the begining of the poem with the ripped cushions. Also the format of having it be so pleasent and then everything falls apart was good for this poem!

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  2. AnonymousDecember 16, 2009 at 5:59 PM

    I like how you incorporated the dad part into it because it gives makes the character in the poem seem more real and relatable.

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  3. J andersonDecember 16, 2009 at 7:24 PM

    wow that was pretty powerful. like when i was reading it my eyes just got wider and wider but in a good way of course. i had an easy time visualizing your poem and all that went on and of course the part with the dad is what toys with the emotions

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  4. apoirotDecember 17, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    This is really powerful, Brooke. I really liked your use of enjambment. The last part about the apology was really sad :(

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  5. ErinDuranDecember 20, 2009 at 8:11 PM

    Extremly visual. I love how you have the contrast of the sweat on the bombers face to a tulip. Considering a tulip has such a positive connotation, with spring: new life, sunshine, happiness. I feel very connected to the victim. Amazing job Brooke.

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  6. Mrs. BellJanuary 1, 2010 at 11:24 PM

    Brooke, I love the initial splashes of color in this poem...white, blue, red, yellow...tulips. This contrasts with the harsh reality in the second half of the poem...flash of light, train crash, crushing metal. Fantastic visuals that your readers clearly connect with. I also love the title of the poem and the emphasis on the last word of the poem. For improvement, maybe look at line breaks in the first half of the poem. Some of the longer lines feel awkward to me.

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