Five individual don't have much power,
In a fight, all five would break.
The hand would be too weak and coward.
No limit to how much damage it would take.
If that hand came together as a fist,
It would be stronger; the fire would be lit.
Adding many wins to the hand's list.
Now that it is capable of a knockout hit.
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I really like the use of five individuals, each symbolizing a finger on a hand, that become a team in the form of a fist to accomplish anything.
ReplyDeleteJustin! That is so good! I love your idea. It made me connect to the Darfur/Sudan genocide. It would be difficult for one man to step in, although an entire army would make a change.
ReplyDeleteJustin this is an awesome metaphor! It makes you really see and realize that together is better than apart, that many are better than one. Loved it!
ReplyDeletei like the metaphor in this poem because it could be like a sports team that has 5 players like hockey or basketball.
ReplyDeleteNice job with the rhyming, Justin. This is an excellent metaphor you use to prove your point. The first and third line need some editing though (just minor corrections). I also like how it is a bit vague so the metaphor can be applied to many things.
ReplyDeletealthough you have "minor corrections in need" i like your poem. i was expecting more of a rap from you but this was pretty deep. i liked the idea of coming together and this poem sets an example for many of the genocides and imperialism problems going on in the world. Many people could learn from your poem.
ReplyDeleteKevin Gower